A Letter to My Bladder Cancer Friends

A Letter to My Bladder Cancer Friends

Dear Fellow Bladder Cancer… well, I’m stuck here. I don’t want to put “sufferers” or “patients,” so I’m going to put “Friends”.

The struggle is real!

As Bladder Cancer Friends, we carry so much on our shoulders, regardless of what “type,” “grade,” or “stage” we are at. Regardless of it being superficial, muscle-invasive, or rare, we all are too aware that the recurrence rate is HIGH.

Some may think it’s the “Cinderella” of all cancers, or that it’s the “best” cancer to have (yes, I really got told this!). Some may even think that it’s “not” a proper cancer.

We are some of the toughest people around

Well, let me educate you. I feel that we, Bladder Cancer Friends, are some of the toughest people around; we have courage and strength bursting out of our souls!

Why do I say this? We live in constant and perpetual fear of a reccurrence; we face ongoing scans for the rest of our lives. I don’t like the word “warrior” being used for “cancer patients,” as I do not see myself as a “warrior” or “one of cancers little soldiers.” I think they are patronizing and condescending. For me, a “warrior” is someone who wears armor and protects their divine right to survive, so I guess when I write it down like that, in black and white, we ARE WARRIORS!

It’s not the most glamorous of cancers

And it’s not like it’s the most “glamorous” of cancers, is it? It’s our bladders and pee, the things you shouldn’t speak about while at the dining table, not a great dinner conversation. But, perhaps that’s where the problem lies? We need to “normalize” it; we need to get others to speak about it and not be “embarrassed” by doing so.

As Bladder Cancer Friends, I bet all of your families are aware of the signs; they know what “color” our pee should be, and they know the pain of having to get up 50 gazillion times a night. They know when you are in pain or discomfort by the tone of your voice or the way you pull faces. I guess, just like my family, they are telling others about “your” journey, and in doing so, we ARE spreading the word, we ARE doing our bit to educate and warn others. Just sometimes, it doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough, I don’t know how you feel?

Our bodies are altered

All too often, we have our bladders removed, which let’s face it IS a life changing experience; our bodies are “altered”. And while some of us opt for a “bag for life,” some opt for reconstruction, called a “neobladder”.

I can’t tell you, from my experience, what a neobladder is like as I feel that I chose the easier option; however, from what I have read and heard from other patients is that it does take while to get used to it. It involves “self-catheterization”, setting your alarm to wake you up in the night to go to “pee”. What a reminder of what you have just had to go through! What a reminder of your journey with Bladder cancer… and it’s there for the rest of your life!

The alternatives

The alternative doesn’t really bear thinking about does it? A bag of pee protruding from your tummy, or the self-catheterization every few hours… or death!

Even with a bag, the first few weeks and months are full of 2AM leaks; you are still recovering from the operation and having to deal with so much. All of this and no “help” to get used to your “new” self image.

Living under a black cloud

We do all of this to have our “normal” lives back. We have to live with the “black cloud of doom” that hangs over us, every single day. We undergo treatments that only give us a 50% survival rate for “normal” bladder cancer! We live knowing that at any time, this evil and disgusting disease could show its ugly face.

We try for the most to “get on” with life, as we have no other choice. The road seems rocky, with such highs and super lows. We tell ourselves that “we are ok” and if we aren’t ok, then “it’s ok to be NOT ok”. Every twitch, every pain reminds us, that we have cancer. I guess that even at 5years, which is considered “remission” for a lot of cancers, we are aware that it could STILL come back!

Determined to make our lives worth living

We deal with a lot, physically and emotionally, day by day and week by week… We smile and laugh, determined to make our lives worth living, and to remind ourselves to be grateful that we opened our eyes this morning. All while carrying the huge burden of knowing that we may never stay free of our cancer.

What a weight to carry! So, Bladder Cancer Friends… I salute you: for staying strong, for adjusting well, for never giving up, even when you want too… and just for being “YOU”.

Love and hugs,

Anita

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The BladderCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

View Comments (4)
  • TerryN
    4 months ago

    Thank you for a most inspiring letter. Just keep you chin up and have a sense of humor. It helps.

  • Anita Brown moderator author
    4 months ago

    Thank you Terry for taking time to read it, absolutely, having a sense of humour helps even on the darkest of days. I hope you are well? X

  • Brandy78
    4 months ago

    Yes to every word! I wanna yell at your post out loud,”me too,your right!” Thanks for sharing!!

  • Anita Brown moderator author
    4 months ago

    Thank you for taking the time to read the article Brandy, I feel that we are amazing to deal with what we deal with, hope your journey is going well and not too many problems? X

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