The Final Chapter and How It Plays Out

Let me preface this by saying that I am not trying to be maudlin or have this be a "downer" article. This is written with the best of intentions and also out of curiosity as to how others would view this situation. The below is my own personal opinion and not to be in any way construed to be correct or better than any other opinion.

Out with new friends

I had an interesting conversation with a new group of friends the other day. 

We were out for a casual dinner and the subject of Covid came up. It then led to the subject of people dying from Covid as a primary diagnosis versus those dying after having a positive Covid test while fighting other illnesses or diseases. Everyone at the table agreed that they never really had thought about what someone dies from, just that they are gone.

"Susan" then spoke up. A friend of Susan's named "Barb" had recently lost her 75-year-old father. He had been fighting stage 4 cancer and other not as serious issues since his diagnosis in early 2021. He had been in the hospital for a few weeks and was not responding to treatments - rapidly declining. 

Three weeks into his final hospital stay, he was informed that his recent covid test came back positive. Barb had been at the hospital every day for weeks staying with him. Unfortunately, her father passed away in late September. According to Barb, a week later his death certificate arrived stating his cause of death as Covid.

Barb was devastated, wondering if she had given him Covid, and had not known as she never had any symptoms. She went into a serious tailspin blaming herself for his death and continued to struggle with this for a few weeks after. I asked Susan if Barb had ever mentioned Covid or anything related to it when speaking of her father and his illness prior to his death. She replied, "No." 

The subject only came up after the death certificate was received. How would I feel if that were my family member? Interesting topic. I of course added my 2 cents.

My 2 cents

If someone such as myself was in the hospital with cancer, heart disease, vehicular accident, or some other possibly fatal, late-stage disease, illness, or accident, and I also had tested positive while hospitalized. Would I want the serious illness on my death certificate as the cause? We don't get much of a choice as to what is put on our death certificate and multiple things could be listed, but everyone else at the table said that it really did not matter to them.

I was the only abstainer. When they all appeared shocked that it would even matter, I said "Let me explain." 

The fight is difficult, for everyone

I have gone through endless tests, invasive and sometimes embarrassing treatments, and had surgeries that would never have entered my mind. I have fought hard to stay on this earth.

My family has had to deal with my mood swings in dealing with a cancer diagnosis. They took hours, days, and sometimes weeks off work to be there for my surgeries and recovery. They changed plans and canceled vacations for me.

They have been by my side to hold my hand and pray I made it through treatments and surgeries, fixed meals, cleaned my home, driven me to appointments, and endless other tasks. This was our battle and it seems like a disservice not to acknowledge it.

Seeing both sides of the coin

As soon as I finished my comments, everyone at the table nodded in agreement with me. They said that they had not looked at it the same way as I did and that what I explained made complete sense.

I personally am not fighting any medical issues at this time. But I have found it upsetting that family members of friends and also some well-known people who were in the last stages of a disease, and knew they were on limited time, were possibly not given the dignity of having the disease they fought so hard to survive to be on their death certificate.

Acknowledging the hard fought battle

If I pass away with cancer, or some other late-stage disease, a serious accident, or another serious health issue, especially one I have been fighting for a long period of time, by golly I want it to be made clear that I went down fighting.

Cancer is mean and ugly and can leave us beaten and bruised. We struggle mentally, physically, financially, and psychologically while trying all possible avenues to beat it. If I do not win that battle, and as strange as it may seem, I want credit for trying my hardest to win.