Taking Time-Outs From Cancer

I don’t think anyone forgets the time, day, or date they first heard that word: the “C” word. That day, in many ways, changes your life forever, the day you found out you had cancer. It doesn’t matter what type of cancer you are diagnosed with, what stage it is or how it will be treated or managed. From that point on, you will always be someone who had cancer.

That is not to say it will all be negative going forward or that there is no possibility you will again, one day, be cancer-free, but it will always be a journey that you went through. It won’t define you, but it will be part of the future you. With time, the rawness fades, but in the moment, it is all-consuming. I remember being unable to think of most anything else.

Breaks from bladder cancer are healthy

You never really know how long your journey will be, especially with bladder cancer, and, it is possible that, as you read this, you are going through a recurrence. For that reason, it is important to take “time-outs” from cancer.

I will never tell you to just forget you have cancer when you are right in the middle of it. I will say, however, that you need to find some moments for you – moments for you as an individual, moments for you as a mom or a dad, a sister or a brother, daughter, or son or as a friend.

It is important to take time, however little or long your mind allows you, to forget about appointments, or results or what comes next – a time when cancer is not all consuming, a time to let your mind rest. For each person, what works will be different.

Some simple and easy distractions

• Fresh air: I found, when strength and weather permitted, that getting outside for some fresh air worked well. It could be something as simple as sitting outside for a brief period or taking a short walk.
• Junk TV: Another thing that helped was watching some trashy TV, something that didn’t require concentration. I just needed some background noise that took me out of the reality of the moment even for 20 minutes.
• Conversation: A chat with a friend worked, too. Just hearing about other things, about normal everyday things, grounded me. It made me realize life continued on around me, a normal life that I could get back to very soon, I hoped.
• Reading: If you like reading, books can be a good distraction, allowing some escapism from the everyday. Writing a journal or diary can be useful as well. Schedule some time to do this and stick to a maximum writing time of 15 to 20 minutes. That way you can express your feelings and, in some ways, release yourself from the thoughts once they are on paper, giving yourself a chance to free your mind.
• Time with others: Nothing beats time in person with a loved one – a close friend or family member. It might be your partner or caregiver, that one person you know will look out for you no matter what. Human connection, maybe a hug, can make a difficult day a bit better.
• Virtual visits: Sometimes, being together in person isn’t possible due to distance or other constraints. With all the technology now available that we embraced during the pandemic, a Zoom or a FaceTime call is a close second. Virtual hugs are underrated!

You need and deserve breaks from cancer

In the midst of it, any cancer journey is very difficult. The path to treatment can seem incomprehensible and can bring up a whole host of emotions. As hard as it may be, it is important to take that little bit of time-out from cancer and spend time, even a few minutes, just being you.