A Cancer Diagnosis Comes With an Education in Dealing With Doctors

Receiving the news that someone I loved had cancer made me reevaluate a lot of things. It shifted my priorities. It changed how I view health. And, following a recent and unexpected trip to the Emergency room, it has changed how I interact with medical professionals. As I reflect on a week I would rather forget, I can see that being on the sidelines for my mom’s cancer journey has left some lasting and ultimately positive effects.

Clumsiness is part of who I am

In all honesty, I can confidently say I am one of the clumsiest people you’re likely to meet. Since childhood, I’ve always been the liability. If something has the possibility to shatter into a thousand pieces, I probably have a story about how I broke it. Unintentionally, I have smashed more glasses, plates, ovenwear and many other breakable objects than you could imagine. As a child, I remember hearing my mother’s reaction as something breakable slipped through my fingers and crashed into infinite pieces on the kitchen floor. This happened so often that my mother’s reaction became almost scripted. Normally, it was a scream of “what was that!” followed by a “I can never have a full set of anything”.

This clumsiness is, unfortunately, not only limited to dropping things. I am also pretty uncoordinated and have broken more bones, torn quite a few ligaments and had concussion more than once. Last week was another example of my uncoordinated, injury-prone unluckyness. It was lunchtime and I was heading to the park on my daily lunchtime walk with my rescue dog Dolly. I have no idea what happened, but I found myself in a heap on the floor with a pain in my leg that was pretty sharp. I still don’t know what I fell over, but it was more than likely my own feet (this is something that has also happened more than once).

Doctors then versus doctors now

I decided to turn around and head back to the apartment to check the damage to my leg. I got home, rolled up my pants and saw that something wasn’t right. I called my doctor and explained the issue. Because of a previous DVT in the leg, I was advised to go directly to the ER to see what we’re dealing with. So that’s what I did. I hobbled all the way to my local ER. And that’s when I realized the huge difference between how I used to react when dealing with medical professionals compared to now, a few years after my mom’s cancer diagnosis.

In the emergency room, I obviously went through the normal process. I was checked in, spoke with a first responder and explained the situation and then waited for their diagnosis and follow up. What had happened was I had damaged a vein in my leg and a blood clot had formed which was the cause of the pain. To fully diagnose this, they needed to perform an ultrasound on my leg to see where the blockage in the vein was, and then they could provide the necessary aftercare.

A cancer diagnosis taught me so much

Before having a cancer diagnosis in the family, I wouldn’t have asked too many questions to my medical team. Instead, my internal mantra in these situations used to be ‘they’re medically trained. They know what they're doing.” But after my mom’s experience of her bladder cancer being misdiagnosed multiple times, I no longer wholeheartedly trust my medical professionals. And this is something I am grateful for. I am now more confident in medical environments. I don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for another explanation to make sure I fully get 100% of what they're telling me. I ask for detailed explanations on medication and side effects. And I now speak up whenever I don't feel comfortable or am slightly uncertain. And even though my whole experience has nothing really to do with cancer, cancer has changed how I react in certain situations. And this got me thinking: If I would’ve felt embarrassed to ask questions or request more information on an issue with my leg before my moms cancer journey, how must my mom and anyone else living with bladder cancer feel going through those first few weeks and months post-diagnosis?

Cancer coming into my life was never a welcome addition. But it has taught me many things. Now I can see that it has given me more confidence to question any diagnoses and double check any treatments I’m given. And for that, I am thankful.