That Feeling When The World Stood Still

It's a tough world to live in and comprehend at times. The Covid-19 Pandemic was a universal challenge and a difficult time in many ways. For many people, and in many ways, their lives were turned upside down - I know mine was.

Lockdowns brought restrictions like many have never seen and won't see again in their lifetime. I, and many people like me, would describe the time since the pandemic began as putting life on hold. Many things that matter and daily responsibilities come to a halt.

A change in focus

I found that my focus changed as the months passed and the lockdowns were extended - realizing that material things weren't necessary.

Those who rarely embraced technology took to Zoom as a way to still "see" their friends and family. I took to the kitchen to start cooking as many food supplies were limited. Others took up a new hobby or interest.

Pressing the pause button

In many ways, what I went through when I was diagnosed and treated for cancer, generates similar feelings. When you are diagnosed with cancer, it can feel like someone has pressed the pause button - like the world has stood still.

Everything that felt important the week or month before no longer has any importance. What you are having for dinner, doing at the weekend, or what is happening at work. It suddenly seems unimportant and irrelevant. I remember thinking that if I didn't survive this, these things wouldn't matter - whether my top matches my trousers or if I had choosen someone a suitable gift won't matter.

Like in the pandemic, many people, after a cancer diagnosis, need to reach out to people they haven't been in touch with, to rekindle friendships and assemble a support system. I remember the days leading up to my life-saving bladder cancer surgery, and I needed to see in person or speak to people who meant something to me.

I had been in my job for many years. We are like one big family. I remember phoning every one of my close colleagues during this time. I know now that subconsciously these calls were so important to me as, in my way, I was saying goodbye in case I did not survive the surgery.

Are the pandemic and cancer similar?

When the pandemic hit, it hit me extra hard when I read, time after time, of people dying in a hospital without a close one by their side.

I feel my bladder cancer journey has equipped me well to deal with so many other things in life, including the pandemic. I knew how it felt for everyday life to be turned on its head. Like after my diagnosis, the pandemic meant I had to change my foreign travel plans. That may seem small, but I love to travel.

After my surgery, all goals were travel-related and, ultimately, getting back to the customer lounge at the airport and back onto a Dreamliner, heading for sunnier climes.

Overcoming situations that we cannot change

My cancer journey taught me that in life, we are often faced with overcoming situations that we cannot change, and that is the mentality I adopted for getting through the lockdown and restrictions. Similar to the time during my cancer treatment, during the pandemic, I looked at what I could do and control instead of focusing on what I couldn't do.

I could spend more time in the kitchen, further improving my skills. I could keep in touch with friends on Zoom. I could plan and go on staycations in Scotland when restrictions allowed. I could prepare things for when it was all over.

While my bladder cancer journey was pre-pandemic, I know many have had to overcome covid restrictions as they navigated their bladder cancer diagnosis and treatment. To every one of you, I say a massive well done. One without the other is tricky. Together it takes a special kind of strength, and you are amazing.