A woman stresses over a countdown on a calendar

Radical Cystectomy the end of August

Like you all, I'll never forget the day my tumour was found, 23rd February 2021. TURBT 17th March
I was consumed with fear and stress.

Denial.. not me...

The day we were told it was high-grade muscle invasive cancer, I felt like the consultant must have been telling someone else as it couldn’t be me. We went through weeks of fear and stress before the chemotherapy started. The chemotherapy was brutal I’m so very blessed to have an amazing husband who supported me every step of the way. We’ve had good days and bad days feeling lost and helpless. I’ll never forget the night my husband cried in the shower for a full half-hour and I sat on the bathroom floor crying with him.

Finding strength

Somehow we found some strength and got through the chemotherapy and no longer cry so much it’s like we’ve finally excepted I have cancer and we now concentrate on remaining as healthy as possible before the surgery. Last week we sat with my urologist and he ran through the operation with us. None of it was a surprise as we have spent months researching the operation.

Operation day approaches

I wasn’t able to think about having a stoma until I got through the chemotherapy. Now we’re at the stage where the surgery is being planned. I’m consumed with fear, not sleeping at night and all I can think about is the pending surgery. Last year I had emergency surgery for a twisted bowel I was so poorly and was just getting back to the old me when the cancer arrived. So I have an insight into major surgery and knowing my RC is a bigger operation.

I’m a very positive person and have my wonderful husband but I’m consumed by fear.

Can you please advise me on how I can control this fear?

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