Radical Cystectomy the end of August

By SueB2703

1 min read

Like you all, I'll never forget the day my tumour was found, 23rd February 2021. TURBT 17th March
I was consumed with fear and stress.

Denial.. not me...

The day we were told it was high-grade muscle invasive cancer, I felt like the consultant must have been telling someone else as it couldn’t be me. We went through weeks of fear and stress before the chemotherapy started. The chemotherapy was brutal I’m so very blessed to have an amazing husband who supported me every step of the way. We’ve had good days and bad days feeling lost and helpless. I’ll never forget the night my husband cried in the shower for a full half-hour and I sat on the bathroom floor crying with him.

Finding strength

Somehow we found some strength and got through the chemotherapy and no longer cry so much it’s like we’ve finally excepted I have cancer and we now concentrate on remaining as healthy as possible before the surgery. Last week we sat with my urologist and he ran through the operation with us. None of it was a surprise as we have spent months researching the operation.

Operation day approaches

I wasn’t able to think about having a stoma until I got through the chemotherapy. Now we’re at the stage where the surgery is being planned. I’m consumed with fear, not sleeping at night and all I can think about is the pending surgery. Last year I had emergency surgery for a twisted bowel I was so poorly and was just getting back to the old me when the cancer arrived. So I have an insight into major surgery and knowing my RC is a bigger operation.

I’m a very positive person and have my wonderful husband but I’m consumed by fear.

Can you please advise me on how I can control this fear?

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Tommy B Member
<inline-mention username="SueB2703" user-id="4126922"/> hello SueB. I'm sympathetic to your fears and anxieties facing RC. I too will be having a RC in less than 20 days... I try my best to view the surgery as my chance to move ahead with Life... it's the cancer that threatens my life and well-being, and to have the chance to remove it from my body, although with a major surgery (which is enough to cause fear), I am calmed by reminding myself that this is my chance to move on and get ahead of this enemy inside me. I found an article that I have read over and over, about 15 times, and it has helped me with my anxiety, and quite frankly, with my overall perspective. I will share the link here. I wish you calm, peace, and good healing after your RC. And as far as tears...I cry just about every day, but I'm finding that my tears are turning evolving into tears of joy for what I still have in my life, and that is, my loved ones, my friends, my faith, and so much of me is still here. I wish you all good things. I'll be thinking about you at the end of this month. <a href='https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=102001043&srctype=wol&srcid=share' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=102001043&srctype=wol&srcid=share</a>
1. SueB2703 Member
 <inline-mention username="Tommy B" user-id="4204402"/> thank you so much for your response I’ll check out that link
Director1182 Member
Sue, I went thru all this since fall of 2019, thankfully chemo was not bad. The nurses and staff at the chemo site were awesome. I did a little research as went thru everything as it happened. In a way I am glad I did it. Knowing ahead of time some of the difficult moments would have kept me up at night. The hardest part was the recovery after getting home from surgery. But my wife and son helped me get thru all this. The recovery was longer than I expect (about eight months) but I am retired so that didnt matter. Am at the point in my recovery that I am working outside, somewhat physically demanding but the helped me regain my strength and stamina. Hang in there, it will get better as time goes on.
1. SueB2703 Member
 <inline-mention username="Director1182" user-id="2066103"/> thank you for your reply it’s encouraging to hear your now recovered like you I’m retired so I’m in no rush to recover
JadaWalton Member
Hi <inline-mention username="SueB2703" user-id="4126922"/> thank you for sharing your story. You're lucky to have such a great support system. How have you been? I wanted to let you know it was shared on our facebook and you received several lovely comments. You can see it here: https://www.facebook.com/BladderCancerDotNet/posts/4508138042580086 - Jada (BladderCancer.net team member)
1. SueB2703 Member
 <inline-mention username="JadaWalton" user-id="2069050"/> I’ve tried to follow your link but it doesn’t take me anywhere 
2. Linda Urbanski Member
 @SueB2703 Try copying and pasting it again as I just tried it and it worked. Might have missed a final number or something minor that did not allow it to show the article. Nice response - I hope you can see them soon. My best to you. Linda ( moderator, <a href='https://bladdercancer.net' target='_blank'>Bladdercancer.net</a> team member)