Share a piece of advice or a quote that's helped you [Giveaway Bonus Entry!]

What inspired me when I was first diagnosed and also through difficult days during treatment was a verse from Psalm 84: "They are happy, whose strength is in you... As they go through the Bitter Valley they make it a place of springs... They walk with ever growing strength." I did feel like I was in a "bitter valley" and I became determined to make it a "place of springs." I tried to embrace anything that was positive on this totally unexpected journey so that I could become a stronger person.

I am a Game of Thrones Fan, so I printed out the words "NOT TODAY" and also put them on all my social media. This refers to something one of the protagonists, Arya Stark, says to the god of death, that's she's not willing to give in, so not today, cancer😀

reading this excerpt from a magazine helped me:

"BE ASSURED that the rush of feelings you are probably experiencing is valid. Although your illness or impairment may be a physical fact, your mind resists the changes that the illness has forced on you. It may seem as though you and your illness are engaged in a tug-of-war, a contest between who you once were and what you might become. And right now it may seem that your illness has the upper hand. Yet, you can turn the tables. How?

“When there is a loss through illness,” notes Dr. Kitty Stein, “it feels a lot like a death.” Thus, when you have lost something as dear to you as your health, it is only normal to allow yourself time to mourn and weep, much as you would if a loved one died. In fact, your loss may involve more than your health. As one woman explains, “I had to give up my job. . . . I had to give up the independence that I had always enjoyed.” Even so, keep your losses in perspective. “You’ve got to mourn what’s lost,” adds Dr. Stein, who herself has multiple sclerosis, “but you also need to understand what’s still there.” Indeed, once you have struggled through the initial tears, you will see that you have important resources still intact. For one thing, you have the ability to adjust.

A sailor cannot control a storm, but he can weather one by adjusting his boat’s sails. Similarly, you may not be able to control the illness that has stormed into your life, but you can cope with it by adjusting your “sails,” that is, your physical, mental, and emotional resources. What has helped other chronically ill ones to do that?

Learn About Your Illness

After absorbing the initial impact of the diagnosis, many come to feel that knowing the painful truth is better than facing a vague fear. While fear may immobilize you, knowing what is happening to you may help you to consider what you can do—and that in itself often has a positive effect. “Notice how much better you feel about anything that worries you when you come up with a plan for dealing with it,” notes Dr. David Spiegel of Stanford University. “Long before you have actually done something, you reduce your sense of discomfort by planning what to do.”

You may feel the need to learn more about your condition. As a Bible proverb says, “a man of knowledge is reinforcing power.” (Proverbs 24:5) “Get books from the library. Learn as much as you can about your illness,” advises a bedridden man. As you learn about available treatments and coping techniques, you may find that your condition is perhaps not as bad as you had feared. You may even find some reasons for optimism.

Understanding your illness rationally, though, is not your final goal. Explains Dr. Spiegel: “This information gathering is part of an important process of coming to terms with the illness, of making sense of it, of putting it into perspective.” Accepting that your life has been changed but that it is not over is a delicate and often slow process. But this step forward—from understanding your illness rationally to accepting it emotionally—is one you can take. How?

Finding a Delicate Balance

You may need to adjust your view of what it means to accept your illness. After all, accepting that you are ill is no sign of failure, just as it is no sign of failure on the part of a sailor to accept the fact that he is in a storm. Instead, being realistic about the storm prompts him to act. Likewise, accepting your illness is no failure, but it means “advancing in a new direction,” as a chronically ill woman observed.

Even if your physical abilities have diminished, you may need to remind yourself that your mental, emotional, and spiritual qualities do not necessarily need to be affected. For instance, do you still have your intelligence and the capacity to organize and reason? Perhaps you still have your warm smile, your sense of caring for others, and your ability to be a good listener and a true friend. And most important, you still have your faith in God.

In addition, keep in mind that although you cannot change all your circumstances, you can still determine how to react to them. Irene Pollin of the National Cancer Institute states: “You are in charge of your responses to your disease. You have this power no matter what your disease dictates.” Helen, a 70-year-old woman with advanced multiple sclerosis, confirms: “It’s not so much your illness but your reaction to your illness that determines whether you find your balance again.”