Confronted by Mortality - Mom's Bladder Cancer Diagnosis

As a child I believed my parents would be around forever. They were always there. They were the one constant in a changing world. But as life experience is gained, an understanding of the circle of life is also inherited. A sort of awareness that parents, grandparents–in fact, everyone that is around us–will not be around forever. This is the natural order. But when a cancer diagnosis comes into our lives, we become cognizant of our and our loved ones’ mortality–whether we want to or not.

Diagnosis means confronting mortality

A cancer diagnosis is so much more than an explanation of what is making someone ill. It changes everything. Not just for the patient, but for caregivers, family and friends too! From the day I received the news of my mother’s bladder cancer, I started questioning my own mortality; I questioned how I was living; I questioned all of my behaviors. I had a new lens through which I now looked at life.

This gave me a new understanding of mortality. A new way of thinking about health and sickness. This change in how I think was triggered by my mother’s diagnosis. At first, I wished I could go back to my blissful ignorance from before I received the news that there is bladder cancer in the family. But as I reflect over what I have learned in the 6 years since my mother’s diagnosis, I’ve come to accept and appreciate that being aware of our mortality is not such a bad thing.

Cancer is a whole family illness

It seems an odd thing to say, but cancer is now a part of my life–even though I, personally, have never been diagnosed with this evil disease. Cancer is also a part of my medical history and something I consider regularly. It is something I have learned to understand.

I have seen how cancer can change someone’s life, someone’s body, someone’s way of living. It can have catastrophic effects and change what is possible, what you can and can’t do. But it can also be the catalyst for change.

Through my mother’s cancer diagnosis and subsequent cancer journey, I am different. I am more aware of symptoms, treatments, and other cancer related information. But I am also different in another way because of cancer.

Learning to live in the moment

Cancer has taught me to appreciate the small things. To celebrate every win–big or small. To literally stop and smell the flowers. To take calculated risks. To challenge myself. To grab life and make memories. To do the things that scare me. To take the plunge into new adventures. To not be so scared of living–because life can be short, unpredictable and sometimes cruel.

Having a cancer diagnosis in the family has changed how I think about a lot of things. It’s changed me, irreversibly. On reflection, this is something I am incredibly thankful for. I have more knowledge about cancer; more understanding of the real effects of this disease; and, more importantly, a deeper understanding of what it means to live.