Are You Ever Jealous of Other People's Seemingly Good Health?
It is strange but I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Why do some people really seem to suffer from one thing after another? Whilst others just seem to "swim" through life with no health worries at all. It is something that I perhaps have been overanalyzing.
Do you feel that your health concerns and issues are no longer really taken seriously?
Any cancer is a great worry, including bladder cancer
I have heard so many fellow bladder cancer patients being told that this is the "easy" cancer.
What?! Tell me this again when you have had numerous cystoscopies, TURBT's, chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and the constant fear of it returning and then ultimately having to lose our bladders plus many other "bits and pieces". So no, it is not easy cancer.
I was also diagnosed a year or so ago with skin cancer - basal cell carcinoma. Again, comments were made like, "oh this is easily sorted," "no cancer to worry about."
Quarreling with another cancer diagnosis
Fast forward a year and now I have another cancer diagnosis, squamous cell carcinoma. Awaiting treatment and possible skin grafts on my nose!
Add to this the yearly check-ups for bladder cancer as I am still technically in remission (4 years post radical cystectomy). The constant worry of cancer returning anywhere is always there.
So no, these so-called easy or simple cancers are not most definitely not easy. For me anyway, most definitely never simple.
Battling bladder cancer and managing jealousy
Jealousy and anger - these are two emotions that I have most definitely felt.
Anger that I was having to go through all of this, whilst others my age were going out. Whilst they were in bars, clubs, or at concerts, I would be tucked up in bed, too fatigued to get even washed or dressed.
I became jealous, and believe me that is not a nice trait and one that I had never really had before. Sometimes, I would be a little jealous at Christmas when my kid sister seemed to get the presents I had asked Santa for, but there again I was only about 10 years old.
Managing good health jealously
The fact is most things I believe are just down to fate, our genes, or whatever you want to call it.
Yes, I could and should have been diagnosed sooner with bladder cancer, but the fact is I wasn't. So as my mother says, "We are, where we are."
I can therefore make a choice to remain bitter and jealous, or I can learn to accept the cards that I have been dealt. To embrace and cherish the life that was given back to me by my wonderful surgeon.
Finding acceptance with my cancer
For me, yes, I am still a little envious of my friends and family. Friends and family who don't have to fill up a suitcase just with ostomy supplies, when they are going away on holiday. Yes, I am envious that they appear to have so much energy, but I am no longer jealous and there is a world of difference.
I accept my lot. I am here, I am alive and next year I will see my son get married. So instead I shall remain eternally grateful for my life-saving procedure.
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