Are You Ever Jealous of Other People's Seemingly Good Health?

By Shirley Norris

2 min read

It is strange but I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Why do some people really seem to suffer from one thing after another? Whilst others just seem to "swim" through life with no health worries at all. It is something that I perhaps have been overanalyzing.

Do you feel that your health concerns and issues are no longer really taken seriously?

Any cancer is a great worry, including bladder cancer

I have heard so many fellow bladder cancer patients being told that this is the "easy" cancer.

What?! Tell me this again when you have had numerous cystoscopies, TURBT's, chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and the constant fear of it returning and then ultimately having to lose our bladders plus many other "bits and pieces". So no, it is not easy cancer.

I was also diagnosed a year or so ago with skin cancer - basal cell carcinoma. Again, comments were made like, "oh this is easily sorted," "no cancer to worry about."

Quarreling with another cancer diagnosis

Fast forward a year and now I have another cancer diagnosis, squamous cell carcinoma. Awaiting treatment and possible skin grafts on my nose!

Add to this the yearly check-ups for bladder cancer as I am still technically in remission (4 years post radical cystectomy). The constant worry of cancer returning anywhere is always there.

So no, these so-called easy or simple cancers are not most definitely not easy. For me anyway, most definitely never simple.

Battling bladder cancer and managing jealousy

Jealousy and anger - these are two emotions that I have most definitely felt.

Anger that I was having to go through all of this, whilst others my age were going out. Whilst they were in bars, clubs, or at concerts, I would be tucked up in bed, too fatigued to get even washed or dressed.

I became jealous, and believe me that is not a nice trait and one that I had never really had before. Sometimes, I would be a little jealous at Christmas when my kid sister seemed to get the presents I had asked Santa for, but there again I was only about 10 years old.

Managing good health jealously

The fact is most things I believe are just down to fate, our genes, or whatever you want to call it.

Yes, I could and should have been diagnosed sooner with bladder cancer, but the fact is I wasn't. So as my mother says, "We are, where we are."

I can therefore make a choice to remain bitter and jealous, or I can learn to accept the cards that I have been dealt. To embrace and cherish the life that was given back to me by my wonderful surgeon.

Finding acceptance with my cancer

For me, yes, I am still a little envious of my friends and family. Friends and family who don't have to fill up a suitcase just with ostomy supplies, when they are going away on holiday. Yes, I am envious that they appear to have so much energy, but I am no longer jealous and there is a world of difference.

I accept my lot. I am here, I am alive and next year I will see my son get married. So instead I shall remain eternally grateful for my life-saving procedure.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The BladderCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

Linda Urbanski Member
<inline-mention username="Shirley Norris" user-id="2077667"/> - Thank you for this insightful article. I doubt there is one person who has received a cancer or other serious disease diagnosis who has not thought - why me? What did I do to deserve this. I completely understand where you are coming from. My life was a complete wreck when I received my BC diagnosis. Company had suddenly closed, no pay or insurance, home was burglarized, cost of insurance astronomical and prior bills not paid so they were mine. Then 2 days after my diagnosis my youngest daughter and husband announced that they were finally pregnant after 6 years. The dark clouds cleared and I knew that whatever else was tossed my way, I would get through it - and I have. I am happy to be here - bag and all and grandma to 6 !! thank you again for sharing your innermost thoughts to help out others !!
RichinNY Member
I do not feel jealous of those that have not been afflicted with major health problems. I also find it odd as to who IS and those that are NOT. I believe (for me) many illnesses are handed down and passed on. I come from a family that choose to act and be ignorant of Dr's and medical care. Therefore they NEVER accepted or tried to do what the few Doctors they went to suggested. I am the total opposite. I would much rather hear the words " it's good you came in as opposed to IF ONLY you had come in sooner", Sadly way too many people live in denial and fear of what can and will happen to them. They opt to live in a world where THEY believe problems will just desist and simply go away. Thus bringing and maybe suffering the worst. OUR bodies and minds are like cars, they NEED to be checked and expected at least once a year. 🤞🙏
1. Linda Urbanski Member
 @RichinNY - I understand where you are coming from. I had a very good health "ride" until this diagnosis at age 63. My father was a lifetime smoker and passed at 90, my mother in great health passed last December at age 95. I came from a very healthy family and just drew the short straw apparently. I think jealous may at times be too strong a work and envious might be what I was on occasion. I feel that it is normal to wonder why we were chosen for a disease like this but then I remember the phase that we "will never be given more than we can handle.” I would like to think that is true. My best. Linda ( moderator, <a href='https://bladdercancer.net' target='_blank'>Bladdercancer.net</a> team member)