Should You Name Your Ostomy

My name is Laura and I live in Scotland with my husband, Jack, and Victor. You may understandably assume that Jack and Victor are our two sons. We don't have any children. Jack and Victor are my stomas (ostomies).

Jack and Victor are named after the two main characters in a favorite Scottish comedy TV series of mine called "Still Game."

My husband often says dogs are like children that don't grow up with respect to their toilet habits which is true, I see my stomas like this too. As children grow, they are toilet trained. Stomas continue to need you to personally care for them, every day, forever.

No time to process

My ostomy surgery came about so quickly. I was focusing on the bladder cancer itself and desperate to understand how the surgery could help me. And hopefully, save my life.

I had no time to take in fully or process exactly what a stoma was, what it would look like, and what was involved in looking after one. Or indeed what living with one would mean.

Pre-surgery

It all kind of passed me by. I remember hazily getting "marked up" for my stomas. This is where they decide the best position they can for the stomas to make as easy as possible for fitting and wear clothes once the stomas are created.

A bit like the love or hate views towards ostomy night bags, there is a similar feeling among the Ostomy community towards naming your stomas.

Feeling alone

Despite being active on social media pre-surgery, in some bizarre way and probably due to the speed of everything I didn't look online at all to seek support. I found these all after my surgery.

Soon after surgery when I was back home, I was keen to understand if there was anyone else out there with two stoma bags. At that moment in time, I felt I was the only one.

I came across a fellow double bagger, someone with two stomas. She talked openly about her story and about naming her stomas. Reading more and more online after this article, I found out this is something many people do.

Deciding to name my ostomy

I gave it some thought and decided for several reasons that I would name mine. As there was a duo, I tried to think of names of duos that went together. Instantly, having recently watched my TV favorite program, "Still Game," I decided to call them Jack (colostomy) and Victor (urostomy).

My main reason for naming them as I felt it would normalize things a little. After all, they were going to be a part of me and my life forever. I needed to do anything I could to help me accept them. Yes, they saved my life but equally, there is the day-to-day management of them, which was something I needed to get a handle on.

A discreet reference

In the early days, I found myself saying to my husband, "I need to change my colostomy" or "I need to empty my urostomy."

Of course, factually that was true but not necessarily what I would want to say out in public, so this gave me a way of discreetly referencing them once I was well enough to be out again in company.

Of course, over time I reverted to excusing myself to go to the bathroom rather than be so specific.

Accepting my stomas

Still now if I have an issue in public, I can let my husband know discreetly or advise him if I need assistance like getting my spare clothes from our automobile for example. For me, emotionally I feel it has helped me with accepting my stomas.

If there is a leak or something doesn't go to plan, I talk to them and tell them they are naughty. That for me helps me cope better with the reality that I have no control beyond a functioning stoma bag for the basic human need for waste to leave the human body.

It may seem silly

Naming a stoma is not for everyone. Many feel it is silly. Others say they never named parts of their body before so why name their stomas. Every journey is unique as is the individual. I say do whatever helps you.

You need to try to accept your stomas to move on with your life. So, anything to help with this stage of recovery, for me is a win every time.

Tell us about your experience in the comments below, or share your story with the community.