Who Should I Tell?

You are unwell. You are in a position where you see your own doctor and are told you must see a specialist doctor. What now?

You are probably in shock. You may or may not have had several symptoms which made you go to your doctor. It may have been a repeat appointment with your doctor or indeed one of many appointments for the same symptoms.

Now, however, things have stepped up a gear. You are being told to see a specialist doctor. Most people with symptoms that may be caused by bladder cancer, will need to see a urologist.

You now have a period - hopefully, days rather than weeks, before that next step. So, who do you tell?

Talking about your diagnosis

For everyone, this will be a different answer. For those living with a partner or a family member, it may be a natural step to reach out to them. To let them know what is going on. You may most likely be reaching out for their support as you head into the unknown.

For others, it may be to reach out to a grown-up child no longer living at home or a close friend.

Someone you trust

At this point, you are deciding who you are entrusting with vulnerabilities and your wellbeing. Someone who will share, to some extent, in what comes next for you.

Some people live alone, and this can feel like an isolating time. There are many online cancer charities and support groups to which you can reach out to ask questions, receive support, and help you feel less alone.

Many also provide advocacy services to help be your voice if you need any help in navigating these early stages of your journey.

It's your choice

The important thing to remember about who and when you tell people is that it's completely up to you as an individual and what you feel comfortable with.

It may be initially you keep the circle small until you know exactly what the diagnosis is and what treatment may follow. Once this is clear, you may to a greater or lesser extent, want to share it with your employer, especially if you need time off work for any treatment.

While it is not 100 percent of the time the case, most employers do what they can to support an employee in such circumstances.

Find people with similar experiences

One thing I would recommend is to reach out to at least one person or support group. We all need someone to lean on or just to listen.

BladderCancer.net provide support in many ways to help people - a forum where you can ask questions or search previously asked questions and answers for those who have gone through similar experiences or treatment.

In it together and less alone

As a patient, I came across BladderCancer.net through someone I had met in the ostomy social media world. Right there, I could relate to articles and experiences. It made me feel less alone.

I have great support in my personal life, especially from my husband, but it is nice to get the perspective of those who understand a particular stage of my journey.

My key takeaway is that this is your journey. You chose who to make a part of it. Choose wisely. Choose those who are your greatest supporters and who will not make decisions for you but help empower you to make the decisions best for you and only you.