Newbie out of denial

I was diagnosed a bit over a year ago. Immediate Turbt surgery followed by six sessions of Gemzar (Gemcitabine). Not the most pleasant experience. Not thinking other than "well that's that" I went about my business. Almost a year later, I experienced more frequent urination (no blood, etc). Made an appointment with my Urologist for checkup. Not even thinking of another scoping, thinking it's gone.

Receiving the bad news...

Well, he found another tumor in the bladder and immediately scheduled another Turbt and six more Gemzar sessions. He wanted to know why I hadn't scheduled my "checkup".

Adusting to the treatment schedule

Long story short: I'm now aware that this ritual (chemo, three month check-up and possibly add'l Gemzar)
Reality had struck like a huge bomb. I could die of this thing with many other stops on the way.
I was also admitted to the hospital for pneumonia this weekend. To say I'm extremely vulnerable considering I also suffer from GERD, Hiatal Hernia and Lord knows what else.

I'm considered by friends to be strong, gentle Mel. Well, I'm not...
I've joined the Bladder Cancer FB group and of course this venue. I'm already scheduled for my next cystoscope in the next three months. The old medical model of treatment and cure doesn't apply. I guess I'm "on the hook" for at least the next year. What else can I do or pay attention too. I'm a disabled Vet of 82 years of age. Thoughts new friends?

PS. I see BCG mentioned quite a bit, not so much Gemzar (gemcitabine). What's the difference? Should have asked this at the start.

This is my story.

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