Dark thoughts
I was diagnosed a week ago and under go mu TURBT in a few hours. The more a researched the more depressed I got , finally me and my wife decided to try and not worry/ think about it until after the surgery(don't know what stage/type yet). But now I am up by myself waiting,for the time to go to the hospital, while she sleeps for a few more peaceful moments. It's hard not to let the dark thoughts creep back in.
@coorsdrifter - It is very normal to have your mind go in all different directions due to the fear of the unknown. Been there, done that. I will tell you that the first thing my doctor told me after I was diagnosed was to stay off the internet. We tend to forget that no all of the information on there is from accurate sources and as with most posted information, there is more bad and ugly than good from people. I think you are wise to wait until you know what stage and grade you are and also what options your medical team proposes, if any are needed. This site is a valuable source as we are connected to bladder cancer in some way - survivors, caregivers etc. Try not to let this consume you and know that there are many of us on here who are here to support you and share our personal experiences. Do not hesitate to reach out. Please keep us posted. Hugs and prayers to you and your wife. Linda Urbanski (moderator, Bladdercancer.net team member)
all your feelings and emotions are natural. As humans, the unknown is the hardest thing to deal with. Take a positive in the fact you have the TURBT behind you. I know how hard it can be, but you are right, best to try to not second guess the results. Have you already got an appointment arranged with your medical team for the results? Hope you don’t have long to wait. Wishing you well. Please know as a community we are here to support you every step of the way, in any way we can. Take things step by step. Let us know how you go. Laura, Moderator, BladderCancer.net 
hello! Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Man that is so tough, I cannot imagine the heaviness you are feeling. I encourage you to see that it may be fear that is darkening your mind right now. That is completely normal and natural! If we didn't fear for our lives, that would mean we didn't love our life. Sounds like you have a wonderful family and much to live for, so let's have that lead the way! I hope you are healing well from your TURBT. Let us know if we can be of any support whatsoever. You have stumbled into a family! All the best, Charles (Moderator / BladderCancer.net) I have been where you are now, I had a bad experience with my doctor in the way he told me my problem. After that visit I came home and search on the internet the information that was on my paper work, that is how I knew it was stage one bladder cancer, I did go to another specialist which told me the dr that diagnosed me was the best. so I started BCG treatments which was so scary until the CCNP sat down with me and explained everything in detail and told me to ask her anything. She made me feel so comfortable. She told me that there are so many of us out there and to join a talk group to help with my fears. I am praying for you
@Community Member302 Thank you for sharing this story. Clearly the NP showed you how patients feel who do not know or understand what is going on. I am happy that she took the time to explain things to you and answer questions. That is so important when we have been told a diagnosis like this. Advising you to join a support group was also a great suggestion. I hope that we are able to provide answers to your questions also based on our experiences also. My best to you. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. Linda Urbanski (moderator, Bladdercancer.net team member)
