new here and scared

@maria - We definitely can relate to your anxiety as it comes along with the diagnosis unfortunately. But I am happy that you joined this site because there is a great amount of experience on here as many of us have been through what you have. I am one of them. I was 63 when I had my RC surgery so I can relate to you in that way. Has your surgery been scheduled yet? I suggest that you do your best to try to put it out of your mind though I understand that it can be difficult at times. You will hear that walking during recovery is very important as it hydration. If you are not a walker maybe you can start doing it slowly as being in good physical condition is helpful also. Anything to make this easier for yourself. I am sure that many people will reach out to you to provide advice and that shoulder you need. I am one of those people and am on her pretty regularly so please do not hesitate to ask anything and tell us your concerns. I think that you also may find that your children will be very supportive and caring when they find out what you are dealing with so you may consider sharing it. Often it is a relief to share the burden. I hope that this helps with some of your fears to know that you are not alone. We are always here to support you so please share whatever you wish to. Sending you hugs and prayers. Linda Urbanski ( moderator, Bladdercancer.net team member)

Dealing with a diagnosis like this is a very scary thing. One thing I did for my husband is took him to his primary care physician to get a prescription for anxiety and depression medicine. This has really help him a lot. Might be something to consider.


The other thing is I joined this group. It has been very helpful to know that there are other people out there that have the same experience. I've also found a lot of helpful tips and information.


Please feel free to message me if you ever need someone to talk to. My daughter is 16, I've learned that if I'm not transparent with her she gets upset with me. She wants to know everything that's going on. She's been awesome through all of this. I urge you to talk to your children. It is scary and very hard at times but they can be a huge support for you through this.

thank you for your words it does help to read I am not alone, i have me preexams like CT on the 13 th, then I get the date, waiting is bad on my nerves, knowing whats inside of me might spread, can you tell me how you felt after the operation, how long it took to feel comfortable with your stoma? I do talk to my kids, always trying to sound confident and they are a big emotional help for me

@Maria - I am happy to hear that you are not feeling alone and that you are comfortable sharing your concerns with us. It sounds like things are moving along for you with a date soon for your CT. Hopefully your surgery will be scheduled soon after so you can get that over and get on with your life. As for my surgery and recovery - I will say that I did not have any treatments prior to RC with the exception of Mitocycin chemo put into my bladder following my TURBT surgeries. It is my personal opinion that other treatments prior can cause fatigue and possibly other side effects that my make recovery different from mine. So - I had my surgery on a Tuesday and went home Sunday morning. My pain was very minimal and was well controlled in the hospital. I was off major meds by day two mainly because I did not like the fuzziness that came with those. I walked every day with walker and someone with me - usually a family member. I was shown how to change my bag as was one of my daughters. Walking in the hospital made it easier to continue with that at home. My appetite was poor for a few weeks so I had to force myself to eat small portions of healthy foods that were not spicy or heavy. I took daily naps and tried the various bag systems that were sent to me as samples. By week 4 I started a new desk job and though tired at the end of the day, it got better soon. I was fortunate to have so much else going on that I did not focus on wearing a bag or an occasional leak because I had other things that also needed my attention. But that was me and is not everyone. I suggest not dwelling on the surgery but looking to after that when your plan is to be in a much better place with regard to your health. I hope that this helps to reduce some of your fears. I am attaching an article that I hope will help you. There are many great articles on our site to read if you have the time. Keep up posted and know that we are here whenever you need us. Linda Urbanski ( moderator, bladdercancer.net team member) https://bladdercancer.net/living/ileal-conduit-myths