It has impacted my sex life in a huge way actually. I'm currently going through bcg treatments and the information that my urologist gave me is geared more towards men. One sentence for females and its so vague. And everything I've tried to research online for women my age and cancer treatment is slim to none. So there fore, there is no sex for fear of making my partner sick....
Sarah Wallin Community Admin
Brandy, we appreciate you sharing here about the impact that bladder cancer has had on your sex life. That is so terrible how the urologist was unable to provide you any information that was geared toward females. We do have some articles related to females. Here are 3:
Sexual Impact on Women: https://bladdercancer.net/living/sexual-impact-women
Dyspareunia and Bladder Cancer: https://bladdercancer.net/living/dyspareunia
Radical Cystectomy & Sex: A Woman's Perspective: https://bladdercancer.net/living/cystectomy-sex-womans-perspective
We also welcome your feedback if there are any topics specifically that you would like to learn about. We hope that one day, there will no longer be a gap in the information available to men vs. women. Women like yourself deserve to have more information about this topic. -Sarah (BladderCancer.net Team Member)
I underwent bladder and prostate removal last August which disconnects everything from your penis, nerve damage is common so erections are now impossible. So no semen and no erections, but doc gave me Viagra and said get one of those vacuum pumps. No luck with either. Doc said how about a shot? I said where? when? he said in the penis, works almost instantly. Gonna have to think about that one right now I don't have a partner and more or less use masturbation as a sleep aid but I will tell you an odd fact I can still have an orgasm with no erection and of course, nothing comes out but the mechanism or whatever that allows them still functions. So bladder removal definitely impacted my ability in the recreation department but I am cancer-free for now.
Liz Hiles Member
although the mechanics are a bit different, you are not alone and I experience a lack of desire even. Many experience changes to their sexual lives and relationships when experiencing bladder cancer. It is one of the areas that needs more research, earlier discussions, and more directive support to patients. I do know of some people (men and women) who have had some success and improvements when getting pelvic floor therapy. You can try https://www.apta.org/ to find a person who specializes in this type of therapy near you. Being single, the sex stuff and lack of desire become an obstacle in trying to maneuver dating, but fortunately for me, dating was never a primary focus of my life. I am comfortable being single and changes to my sex life, for me, is a small price to pay for still being alive. ~Liz, Moderator
I'm very blessed to be able to say my wife of 35 years and best friend for 40 have a wonderful relationship and with 4 children there was obviously sex. We lived very busy lives and quite honestly, we just fell out of tbe whole sex thing several years ago. So my bladder cancer hasn't really been an issue because we are so into each other in every other area of our life and living. Don't get me wrong.. it happens, it's just not neccessary and there are so many more things we love doing together that we enjoy much longer then that moment of sex. But I do feel bad for the younger single ones that are still looking for that intimate moments with there partners.
Liz Hiles Member
thanks for sharing. It's sad that so many couples fall out of that type of intimacy over the years. Not having the desire and/or physical ability to do those things, does make dating hard for us single folks though.