Hello ... Is anyone else out there ...

Is anyone else out there ... on here ... choosing to live life naturally and use holistic methods to mange or heal UC/BC?

After reading all your stories I am so glad I have chosen my path ... it's hard and lonely and emotionally tuff sometimes, but it has no side effects other than the loneliness, lack of insurance coverage, lack of others to share with. I wish I could talk to someone that has also chosen this non-invasive, self responsible Natural path.

My left kidney was removed one year ago, due to the mass growing there for 5 years, causing a hematoma in the kidney sac and caused it to be smashed/useless.

I don't choose medical interventions unless:
1) I can't stop the bleeding (I couldn't),
2) something that belongs inside, is sticking out or
3) the pain is more than I can manage or bear (it was like kidney stones stuck! but ... only 1 or 2 times a year for a day of pain until I gave in and went to hospital for morphine IV and out in 4 hours.)

SO .... i LIVED NORMALLY FOR 5 YEARS BEFORE EVEN GETTING DIAGNOSED! RUSHING INTO TREATMENT IS NOT NECESSARY. REMOVING THE SYMPTOM EARLY DOESN'T STOP IT.

At the time of the Nephrectomy they believed I had kidney cancer and this should resolve it. the post surgery pathology determined UC.

I was told that with KC they only remove part of the ureter. In UC they remove it all .... he should go back and get the rest of it that was left behind but it is another major surgery and not a good thing to do immediately.

I was also told that I may never have a recurrence but that the nature of this disease is recurrence.

I recovered well and only have a small numb spot on my left thigh, lingering. I have had the best year in about 4... as the inflammation previous to the surgery was so severe in the pelvic region it made it challenging to walk much. I mistakenly believed this to be the lingering after effects of Chikungunya (Tropical disease like Dengue Fever and Zika) which I contracted living in Nicaragua that caused me to give up my Expat Retirement Adventure. I had also believed that Chi-V had injured my kidney and caused my ills since then.

IF that is true - new causes of UC need to be looked into!!

9 months after Nephrectomy the hematuria started up again. I was working hard on the pelvic and lower limb region inflammation that I'm told is part of UC.... and it seemed like some of the herbs were thinning my blood enough to cause spikes in the hematuria ...which you know ... is always unsettling and sometimes downright scary!

I have refused to subject my self and my struggling body to the recommend Uteroscopy every 3-6 months. I'm old. I lived better for 5 years with this thing growing than most do while in chemo and radiation. I don't understand using poison to heal. I don't understand attacking the body with "treatments" that burn, cause pain, make one horribly ill and totally exhausted, when it is already struggling so hard to heal itself ... which is the job it naturally does.

I'm not as disciplined as I used to be and it's expensive staying all Natural and using Holistic Practitioners ... and I'm old. I am not a fan of struggle or restrictions or even routine really. I've practiced many protocols ... not well enough, apparently, or long enough, maybe.... surrounded myself with healthy energetics in my lifestyle and have felt the amazing beauty of these practices (Tai Chi/Qigong/Meditation) but still ... the bleeding comes back telling me I have not cured myself... yet.

And the truth of me is that I'm not all that interested in living longer ... extending my life. I have no bucket list; I have no one and nothing to live longer for. I feel good about my life's process ... not so happy with the end results. I have looked forward to being rejoined with All and released from this heavy, malfunctioning and limited physicality. Dying does not frighten me. Living in pain and dysfunction does!!

I am still grieving the loss of my kidney. It mortifies me that I actually asked for that ... It is unimaginable to me, that it is gone ... I let it go. a part of me is missing. I know... I'm weird!

Recently, I am finding myself turning inward and considering my exit options and what timing and settings I might prefer as well as researching my options of means. I do not want to get stuck in the medical compound living thru many things a lot of you are enduring, because I didn't take action soon enough ... and my bladder exploded emergency style ... or get held after pain relief because Im' consdered a "danger to self" by refusing medical intervention. We do have a right to die law but I'm fearful that it required me to be under medical treatment and have doctors agree there is no more to do.

You all know that doctors and pharmacology will definitely find more treatments and take more pieces away and add more drugs for as long as they can keep you alive to buy them! this is not the way I want my final years to be!!

Already my age and condition limit my capabilities and the expense of this highly inflated time is restricting my fun and pleasure.... I do not want to be deathly ill from trying to get well... recovering, in and out of surgery and testing modalities and spend most of the rest of my time going to doctors, hospitals and labs and then getting over all that!

Is anyone else out there ... on here ... choosing to live life naturally and use holistic methods to mange or heal UC? If so ... please speak up. I - for one - need you.

and yes ... I know this can also be seen as depression - perfectly expected depression. but ... I happen to be an expert in the field of depression (LMFT) and altho what I am saying can be seen that way the fact is that I have hope. I have laughter and fun. I am not tearful and sad or overly irritated and angry. There is nothing stopping me from leaving this minute except I am not complete yet - just getting very close. I also do not have a plan figured out. this is not a depression that needs or can be mitigated.

thanks for listening. I will appreciate any responses that are in like kind and not rejecting, combative or scolding. It's just that I too could benefit from some empathy and commiseration and support for MY healing path ... and there seem to be none in person, at cancer centers or hospitals no matter how much they advertise those services. They always seem to be only about supporting life after medical interventions, drugs and side effects.