How can I help my father through chemo and radiation
Hello all, first I would like to thank those who took the time to ease some of my tension and concern I had with my father's diagnosis of bladder cancer .
He met with the pathologist and surgeon today and they explained that he will need 3 months of chemo and radiation along with the removal of his bladder. When my father starts his treatment, how can I help him? I can do the basics of taking him to his appointments and help with things around the house. But are there things that anyone here who has had a similar experience enjoyed help with . Or maybe there are things I should avoid ex( foods, smells)
This may be a spastic post but I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you all so so very much.
I would say some practical things which I find is the best for the caregiver and the patient. I didn’t have the other treatments so can’t help but after bladder removal: some incontinence pads for the bed just incase or initial leaks. Helping him get a bag together of spare supplies for an Ostomy or even if a neo bladder for going out an about after surgery. Easy meals to heat up would help too. Laura, Moderator, BladderCancer.net thank you so much, this is very helpful! how are you today? Will your father meet with his medical team again soon to plan the start of chemo? Wishing you both well and a peaceful holidays. Laura, Moderator, BladderCancer.net
welcome to the community, I'm so sorry you're here. I applaud your forethought in getting yourself and father situated. As my Mom's primary caregiver, I found it invaluable for things to be set up in advance! I would suggest to make a list by the hour, day, and week. What will you need the first few hours? Medicines, incontinence pads, comfort goods? What will you need to set up for certain days, like garbage pickup, gardener visits, check cashing, etc? My best recommendation is get things as set up in advance as possible. I did this with laundry, food, and chores around the house. I wanted to be sure I was fully available to my Mom in case anything happened. Let me know if you need more suggestions or help at creating such a list. All the best, Charles (Moderator / BladderCancer.net) Thank you so much for your input! This was very helpful!
@Collins48 - As he will be having chemo and maybe radiation first you may find that his energy level and appetite decrease. I am not a medical professional but know that doctors tend to do the chemo etc before in hopes of reducing the tumor size which may provide for a better outcome after bladder removal. I have read that those with these treatments may take longer for recovery due to the fatigue. It sounds like a specific plan is in place and I hope that it will be very successful for your father. Keep us posted. My best as always, Linda Urbanski ( moderator, Bladdercancer.net team member0
This place provides a wealth of information. I am new to not having a bladder and they are spot on with the recommendations. Definitely prepare for leaks, it just happens. The incontinence pad is critical. My wife also put a mattress protector under our sheets. It's not plastic and you don't even know it's there.
I can't speak to the chemo part. But after surgery I had next to no appetite. I lost almost 15 pounds. Both come back.
Your surgery team and ostomy nurses will probably provide you with some products and a list of suppliers. Reach out to the manufacturers, Coloplast, Convatec, Hollister etc. To get sample supplies. It may take a few tries to find what works best. Some may cause skin irritation, some may fit better, some may just be more comfortable.
Once his stoma has settled and no longer changing size and he has decided on an appliance that works I would recommend a stealth belt. I think they are a game changer. They help support the bag as it fills. They hide the bag and they provide some abdominal support. And, if you can get him on this forum I'm sure the positive reinforcement and knowledge from this group of long timers will benefit him, it surely has me.great post and support. I use a waterproof mattress protector and use the washable pads if I sleep away from home. Have a great day ahead. Laura, Moderator, BladderCancer.net
